comparison

My boyfriend says I'm the better-looking one of the two of us. Uh, yeah, that was purposeful. What girl doesn't want to be the "pretty one" in the relationship? Although he probably 'primps' as much as I do in the bathroom, and works out probably twice as much, he is in an industry where pretty people dominate and it is hard to avoid comparison. And there is no easier comparison than one of your looks--your skin color, your body, how symmetrical you are, which is which is one way your brain identifies attractiveness in a face. For me, my comparisons favor career accolades over attractiveness. Where they have been published, their titles and affiliations,  awards, and "lists" of the Top people Killing It that are Younger than You--that latter is my favorite. They delve into their productivity habits, which Tony Robbins book was their favorite, what they eat for breakfast--as if swapping your egg sandwich for a spirulina smoothie is the secret to the job and jawline of your dreams. I am not saying that I do not enjoy these articles because I am genuinely curious about how successful people as ordained by media outlets make decisions differently than most others. I also enjoy them because it keeps me motivated to stay on my path and to continue to evaluate myself on my own terms.

But that's just it. We should not be comparing ourselves to others, we should be comparing ourselves to how we measure up against our own yardsticks. Meryl Streep's stick is different than yours. Why? Because she has a different Why than you and the roles that are right for her are not the roles that are right for you. You can not compare yourself to others because you most likely have different motives, different exposure to opportunities, different forces working for and against you. We should be more like the career marathoner who compares her own time to previous races vs. the sprinters at a 40-yard-dash race. By all mean, learn from others about how they define success for themselves, but find the benchmarks that define what will make you thrive and carve them somewhere you can see and stand beside.

it's never the best time

It's never the best time to make a change. When have you ever just happened to want something to happen, and JUSTLIKETHAT! you notice something weird and papery under your bottom and it's a check FOR YOU for $15K. You jump in your car/chariot and are led to the bank not by GPS but by a trail of rose petals. The universe conspires to bring your idea or your travel plans to fruition, like a lover, desperate for attention. We know the world does not work like this. And although I do believe somewhat in affirmations and the power of positive thinking, I believe in good old-fashioned hard work to making things happen. And there will be plenty of resistance along the way. It is par for the course. The title quote and theme were given to me by Belinda.

Belinda was living paycheck to paycheck with her husband--the breadwinner and a truck driver. It was hard to make time for anything else--especially finding the time to plan out a path for a better way to live. She fantasized about joining her aunt's family business, alongside her cousin, who were accountants, but too busy to teach her the skills she needed to learn.

And then she got the call.  That morning on his way to work, Frederico, her husband, had gotten in a motorcycle accident. After the initial shock wore off, she realized a lot of changes were going to going to have to be made. Frederico was alive, but he could no longer drive. And that was the moment that Belinda made the choice that the best time to invest in her future success was now. There is no other time. 

When I moved to New York City, and more recently, to Austin last year. It was as good a time as any. I was barely self-employed but I was determined to make a change in my environment and was ready to say "yes," to a new city, new people, and to make a little urban nook for myself. I am thankful for those first agonizing months where I put myself out there physically at events and emotionally as I asked others for help in meeting the right people to get my footing. 

Belinda enrolled in school at Southern Careers Institute in the Business and Accounting program and I had the privilege of sharing her story with others whom tragedy and financial difficulties made it nearly impossible to find the right training for the jobs and life they want to be living. It's never the best time until you decide that the best time is the only time and the time is now.